Some pictures of my home parish of St. James Episcopal Church, Hendersonville, NC. These shots were taken by our Deacon. And yes, that is a Harrison & Harrison organ for you fellow music nerds out there.
Funny composition of rules for arriving late at different denominations. Could stand to add a few more denominations.
I wish I could lock myself away in a monastery and be surrounded by books and amazing choral music. I wish I could attend Daily Mass and have a constant prayer life and have the time to treat my spiritual life properly. Holy Week has left me so aware of the spiritual drought within my own life, and how little time I have made (and have been able to make) for God over the course of these few days off.
And yet, next week, I must return to work, I must juggle a stressful 50+ hour 6 days a week job and prepare for my meeting with the Bishop about my vocation in this—a state of spiritual drought which I’m not sure how I can make the time to get out of. If I were the Bishop, I certainly wouldn’t let me begin the vocations process right now—but if I delay this further, aren’t I just exacerbating the underlying problem?
I wish I knew how to live and pray at the same time. I wish could center my life around prayer, as hectic and crazy as it is, and find the serenity that so eludes me in life. But I don’t feel called to the monastic life, as much as I might wish it. I’m really not sure what to do without toppling my life by giving up the only job I’m probably going to be able to get. God help me.
This is more of a personal posty-rant than anything, but I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with this. I know I could make some time for prayer, but I come home so stressed out that I don’t think I could pray with any sincerity—and I worry that without any time for relaxing, I’ll slowly go insane. I just don’t know what to do, to be honest—I just know I can’t sustain this and active pursue a vocation.
If any of you wonderful people have any advice or suggestions for me, I would welcome it gladly. Your prayers would be most welcome as well.